The Sprint vs. the Marathon

“What amazes me is that most days feel useless. I don't seem to accomplish anything-just a few pages, most of which don't seem very good. Yet, when I put all those wasted days together, I somehow end up with a book of which I'm very proud.” - Louis Sachar

 

 

I have stared at this quote for several minutes now. After a week, 68 pages, and over 25,000 words, I'm finding it difficult to go on.

See, I'm a sprinter. 

 

I like big results in a short amount of time. I like the payoff to be huge, but I don't like to wait for that payoff. If I cannot see the finish line, I don't want to run it.

 

Impatience, I think, but it's more than that. I lack mental stamina, and that is what writing takes.

 

Breakthrough: this is why I have never, ever, finished anything longer than a poem. I have - let's count them - seventeen (17!!!) novels started on my computer and/or phone app. That does not count the three story starts I have in two separate notebooks or the countless journals I have kept with similar beginnings but no endings. 

 

So I look to this quote again and I know I have some good writing, some great ideas and some beautifully-turned phrases just begging to have a moment in the sun, for me to be proud of their collective souls. 

 

I have to train to be a marathoner though. These sprints are getting tiresome, and I'm expending too much energy trying to get out of the gate and not saving my spirit for the rest of the long race. 

 

This is where my training begins. It's a promise to myself and to the words who want to meet one another as we all reach for that finish line together. 

Not Inconsequential - Day 245 (barely)

I've recovered and revised much of what I tossed onto the cutting room floor today. Now back up to 80 pages, I'm finding the momentum growing again. My heroine (L) is coming back to life, slowly, but she is struggling - not on the page, mind you, but in her "life" inside the pages. She's becoming more complex, and as she and her best friend live completely separate and opposite lives, she is finding it difficult to keep her head above water, something many of us know all too well.

For her best friend (E), however, life seems to be floating along on a gentle current. An occasional bobble, and she's right back on top. E is feeling guilty for her success while L desperately searches for answers and for a life preserver.

Water, by the way, is an apt symbol for the novel so far. The element is used again and again while L is in a dreamlike state (most of the first 2 parts of the novel), and now the two friends are near two different water sources. L near a rough river and E on lakefront property in an exclusive suburb.

It's still slow-going, and I'm still a little unsure of the outcome, but the original plot is back on track, and that makes me happy.

Scraps - Day 244 (nearly)

Back at work, even though it's the wee hours of the morn'. Fewer distractions at this hour, I find.

I was able to salvage a little more from the cutting room floor (see last post) tonight, and add it back into the story. This is positive, for there is some good stuff there. The challenge is to find the diamonds in the pile of rhinestones. Little nuggets of shiny, lovely phrases allowing me to bring the characters to materialization.

I've missed my fictional people. My little heroine had died in the original, which was never my intention. She's going to wake up one day, not die in an anticlimactic moment of frenzied writing. That wasn't her purpose, and it no longer will be her fate.

But wait, there's more!

I've got another idea for a different story, but it's going to have to be put on the back burner for the time being. I like the thought of this heroine, too. She's going to be more present in her own life, unlike Lanie (the current protagonist). She's got so much to say, and I want to give her that voice. But for now, she's going to have to live in notes and nothing else.

Until next time, I'll continue scribbling.

The Cutting Room Floor -Day 243

36 pages. I've left 36 pages on the cutting room floor today. Now, instead of 105 pages, my novel is now 69 pages and ready for me to pick it back up again.

I completed the NaNoWriMo project in November with those 36 pages being my rushed, unexpected journey into an ending I did not plan. Nor did particularly like those 36 pages. After sending them to my BFF for her input, and after much consternation and contemplation, I finally made the leap.

Essentially, I'm starting over. It pisses me off, but it also gives me a strange sense of calm, like the 12 inches of blinding white snow blanketing my backyard. I look outside and think how awful and cold, how difficult it is to maneuver through. Writing is as frigid, as horrible and unkind, and absolutely difficult to muddle through.

I've been separated from my book for months now, unable to look at it, unable to wrap my head around the changes I knew I needed to make, but was to afraid to do so. It's time now, and I've finally done it. Now to start fresh.

Day 36/37: a new milestone

I passed the 20k-word mark tonight. Nearly 40 pages and so many layers developing. I'm enjoying this book so much, and my chief reader Ellen is, too, which is the biggest motivator of all.

Day 34, Page 34

This is not what I expected to happen, but I'm going with it, letting the story happen. I know where I want to go, but I'm taking some detours in order to get there.

Day 33: an unexpected twist

Oh, I love it when I can surprise myself! I did not plan on this little diversion, but I think I know how it could greatly improve the story. Definitely complicated things for the main character.

Now, if only I could get this kind of creative juice flowing before 3am.

Later...
Finally, typing in the middle of the day! Although, it would probably be more fitting if these characters were doing what they're doing in the middle of the night. Naughty things.

I am having so much fun right now watching my characters breathe life into themselves. Watching them develop through their actions is amazing. It's like I let them off their leash, and they've taken off without me. It's so exciting!